Added to the Church

A Feeling of a Wretched Man

I could feel my blood pressure rise as I reflected on the passing moment. Yet again, another moment of weakness to record, adding to the long list in my mind. I sat there alone in the worn embrace of my recliner in the solitude of my living room, disappointed. I am disappointed with myself. I told myself I would stop doing this, but here I am again! “I am better than this!” I screamed inwardly in my mind, a declaration of the heart lost in the darkness. I also think about how it happens so fast; before you know it, a sin is again committed. I am ashamed and saddened by who witnessed it or who it was against. However, I mourn that it has offended Him whom I love the most, the Lord. I may have offended someone, but I am most concerned with Jesus. How could He love this, this wretched man that I am?

Common Feeling

Suppose this scene seems familiar to moments in your life. Know that you are not alone, but it is the internal wranglings of us all. The apostle Paul gives us a visual of the battle between the flesh and the spirit. “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do” (Romans 7:15 NKJV). The struggle is universal, the battle between the flesh and the spirit. Our conscience wants to do what is right and what we love, but the flesh finds a moment of weakness, and we can stumble. “For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me” (Romans 7:19-20). When we fail to do our will, the good that we will, then we are enslaved. In this case, we have become a slave to sin. “But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members” (Romans 7:23). 

A Feeling of Being Enslaved to Sin

When it feels like we are beginning to become enslaved to the bondage of doing evil, yet again, what are we to do? I love the hymn’s lyrics When My Love To God Grows Weak; it helps answer this question. “When my love to Christ grows weak, When for deeper faith I seek, Then in thought I go to thee, Garden of Gethsemane.” We must go again to Jesus. In truth, we must never cease to seek Jesus. It is times that we become distant from Him that the flesh grows stronger and the love for Christ grows weak. Paul sees this and proclaims it also. “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!…” (Romans 7:24-25). Yet again, Jesus Christ, our Lord, is the answer. Draw close to Him by reading and studying His life, applying Him to your personal life. When we are in Christ, there is no more condemnation, not even from yourself. “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit” (Romans 8:1). Remember who it is that you believe; do not forget Him who sets aright all the troubles. “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me” (John 14:1).